Sometimes I jumble this one up, but it usually stays on my mind. I find that lessons are sometimes really obvious and other times completely disguised. For a very, very long time (i'm talking 10+ years), one lesson in particular keeps coming up because I can't seem to get it straight.
A funny lesson I can't ever seem to learn: always check the stall for toilet paper before you begin to do business. I can't even begin to count how many times I have goofed this one up. And after each fiasco, I tell myself to ALWAYS check the stall first and yet a week later, I will do the same thing. Sometimes, mid business doing, I will check for toilet paper and be so thankful it is there and then realize I forgot to check before starting. And those times when I get caught in a tricky situation with out it, I swear it will be the last time. Some day, I will learn that lesson.
So, one of the things in my life that continuously comes up for me is finding peace in being alone. I spend a great deal of time alone in my thoughts, but not physically alone. And when I am it's usually not by choice. The other night, I went for a walk and used the time to reflect on why I feel so uncomfortable being alone, and I felt like it was such wasted energy. I want to feel content being alone. Today, it was suggested that maybe I am not comfortable with my thoughts, but I actually do not think that is the case. I think there is some fear in place from various things that have happened in my past, though nothing as crazy as my mind seems to make it.
So my goal for the month of September is going to be getting more comfortable being alone. Not just sitting on the couch alone with my thoughts, but actually doing things alone. Like going for a walk, to the gym, shopping, getting lunch. Any thing I might do with someone else. Time to come up with a plan!
